"I wish I had known what was happening was normal", said every new mother, everywhere.
Babies and mothers experience breastfeeding in a multitude of ways and it's almost always exactly what should be happening.
Often, success comes from having faith in your instincts, your body, and your baby. This can be tough when there are so many theories and opinions around us.
We asked our online community of mothers what they wish they had known about breastfeeding. The voices repeatedly said the same thing:
"I wish I had known my situation was normal".
This page is for information and reassurance, and does not replace qualified advice in case of difficulties. If you're having a tough time and need one to one support, please see our 'Find Breastfeeding Help' page. If you or your baby are feeling unwell, please contact your local healthcare professionals.
You've got this!
So what is normal?
Infants feed for all sorts of reasons
“It's a relationship that can fix almost everything - it's comfort, closeness, first aid, sleep help, the list goes on. A mothering tool that I couldn't imagine being without.”
Waking at night is normal
“I wish I’d known that its normal for babies to wake through the night. I fully expected her to be sleeping through by 12 weeks. Now I understand that actually it's normal to wake, and it safeguards her, I totally accept it.”
Frequent feeding is normal
"I wish I had known that very frequent feeding is normal! That feeding almost constantly (or that's how it feels) is normal, it doesn't mean baby isn't getting enough milk."
Continous feeding is normal
“Definitely wish I’d known about cluster feeding. I remember he was only a couple of weeks old and I was at my mom's house for a celebration and he wanted feeding every 30 mins/hour.
I had to listen to a few comments like 'feeding again?' ‘Surely he can't be hungry again?' but I was lucky that I had joined online breastfeeding groups and just carried on feeding him in the knowledge that he was going through a growth spurt or cluster feeding.”
Babies are all different
"One of my babies fed LOADS. The next one was super efficient, and went much longer between feeds. I wish I had know that they were both fine, and neither of them was "wrong". All babies are individuals."
Breastfeeding can be hard
Although breastfeeding is ‘natural’ so is giving birth, and most of us expect to get help with that.
Many of us didn’t grow up around breastfeeding and have lived in a society with historically low breastfeeding rates. We may not even have seen breastfeeding up close until we come to do it ourselves.
Breastfeeding beyond babyhood is normal
I also wish I’d known that a breastfeeding relationship is one that can last for years. Not weeks or months. So with that perspective, early difficulties are to be overcome so that you can get to the "nice" (and dare I say "easy" bit - yes Jamie Oliver!) of past 6 months.
Breastfeeding my son made the toddler years so much easier. It was something that calmed him down, helped him get to sleep, helped on holiday. It was magic!”
Needing help is normal
Parents are being born too. Until we have children, most of us live an independent life not thinking a huge amount about the practicalities of having a baby. It can come as a shock to the best of us.
